Networking, if done correctly, is work. It takes preparation, planning, organization and a certain amount of effort. But all too often, we see people attend networking events, and lo and behold - they are not networking! They are also not working! What they are doing, in fact, is visiting with their own comfortable group of friends, instead of reaching out, making new contacts and introducing themselves to others.

We are all guilty of it. We attend a Chamber Business after Hours mixer. And instead of walking up to the people that we don't know or up to the people we want to meet, we instead gravitate towards the comfortable, the known, our own circle of friends. And there we sit (or stand) until we can comfortably leave the event, go home, and report to others at work the next day about our “networking.”

Think about it, we took time out of our busy day to attend an event which was designed specifically to allow us to meet someone new and grow our business contacts - and we did not take full advantage of that opportunity. We stuck with the familiar and visited our group of friends. If you don't “work” the event, it will not work for you.

Networking or not working? Even worse than the lost opportunity is the impression left on those new members who join us for their first networking event. Think back to the first event you attended and remember the horror of spending an evening alone, with no one coming up to you to say hello or to introduce themselves. Yes, I exaggerate! Certainly many that attend are mixing and mingling, but still, the worst thing that can possibly happen to a new member is to feel unwelcome. It isn't that we did not want to meet them, but we were much too comfortable visiting with those we already knew to really reach out to the newcomers. And then what happens? That new member leaves the event, not impressed that the members attending were all good friends, but saddened or even hurt because no one reached out to them.

It happens. And sometimes we need a wakeup call to remind us of why we attend membership events in the first place. The same thing happens at church, at social clubs, etc. We sit by or seek out those we know - and leave the newcomers “on the bench” or standing alone. We don't really mean to, but we do it.

Successful networking requires effort. It requires reaching outside of the comfort zone of friends and family. It requires preparation (business cards, note pads, pens in the purse or pocket).

Now and then I hear from members who ask me, “but what do I say?” “How do I make small talk with someone I don't know?”

Well folks, I am here to tell you, this is the easy part. Here's a little known secret: all you really have to do is ask the person you walk up to talk about themselves. Ask them to tell you about their business, their family, or even about a book they are reading. There is not a person alive that will not enjoy talking about themselves. I promise. You don't even need to carry much of the conversation. They will be impressed with you – simply because of the fact that you listened to them.

And here's another tip: try to act on what you hear. Listen to them as they speak of their interests, their needs, and then see if you can, in some way, help them with a lead or even just moral support. Each and every one of us has within us the capability of helping others to be successful. And people remember those that helped them. So listen closely, take good mental notes, and try whenever possible to pass along something that can help those you come in contact with.

With a little effort you can be sure that you are networking instead of not working at your next event. Make networking work for you. And see if you don't make a few new friends and gain more business in the process.

Join the San Marcos Chamber of Commerce for a great networking event on Thursday, Jan. 21 and try out your new networking skills. The January mixer will be held at Embassy Suites from 5:30 - 8:30 p.m. and we expect more than 200 members to be in attendance. If you want to grow your business in 2010, then put this free event on your calendar now. You will provided with a great opportunity to grow your client base and have fun, all at the same time. Join us Thursday for Prime Time 2010 and let's network.

The San Marcos Chamber of Commerce is focused on business, focused on you. Look us up on the Web at www.sanmarcostexas.com.