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July 11, 2010

Life's Like That - July 11, 2010

By Jerry Bullock Daily Record Columnist The San Marcos Record Sun Jul 11, 2010, 05:57 AM CDT

San Marcos — I am a southerner; what's more, I am a Texas southerner. It has been said that we are a breed apart. We have our own idioms, our own personality and an independence that stands against all comers. We can freely say whatever we want to say about another person as long as we add “bless their heart.” Whether we were born on the plains or the prairies or down where the sea breezes blow, we are just different. The shape of the state of Texas is one of the most well known designs in the world. From Sweden to Bangkok and London to Alaska people immediately recognize my Texas shaped ring. Okay, so they snicker a little bit in Alaska. (At least we can drive across Texas and usually need to have the air conditioner on. One cannot say that about Alaska.)

So I thought I would do little research on some of the things that make us different. For starters let's look at the top 10 things you'll seldom hear a Texan say:

1. Honey, we don't need another dog.

2. Hey, here's an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven't seen.

3. You know wrestling is fake.

4. I'll take Shakespeare for 1,000, Alex

5. The tires on the truck are too big.

6. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

7. Duct tape won't fix that.

8. Who is Richard Petty?

9. You won't catch me in Wal-Mart.

10. I don't have a favorite football team.

There is an old saying: you can always tell a Texan, but you can't tell him much. One way you can tell a Texan is to just listen to them talk. We say things like "fixin' to." My Mama used to put lots of stuff in our "chester drawers." If someone is telling us a story, we might respond, "I don't want to hear no more bout it. Assitsfar as I know." Pure Texan is a word like "annygoddlin;" it refers to something at an odd angle to something else. For example, "Granddaddy's place was annygoddlin to ourn.”

I love jokes on Texas and Texans. It doesn’t do any good to get "miffted" (another Texasism) about them. We ought to be big enough to laugh at ourselves. My daddy taught me to laugh. One of his favorite stories had to do with the rancher who owned about a zillion acres of west Texas range. He was hosting a gathering of New York oil men and as they passed one range he told them, “This little pasture (about 1,000 acres) belongs to my boy. He earned it himself.”

“How old is the boy?” asked one of the New Yorkers.

“Just turned 14,” the proud papa said.

“My goodness,” said the guest. “What on earth did he do?”

“Four A’s and a B, made the Honor Roll.”

Let’s face it, not everyone can be from Texas and there are millions of folk glad of it.

Life’s Like That in Texas.

Jerry Bullock has written his weekly column for the Daily Record for more than 20 years. Jerry is a retired Air Force colonel, an ordained Baptist minister, professional counselor, military historian, speaker, and writer. He is a native Texan tracing his Texas roots to the days of the Republic.

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