Life's Like That - Aug. 15, 2010 » Columns » San Marcos Record, San Marcos, TX

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August 15, 2010

Life's Like That - Aug. 15, 2010

By Jerry Bullock Daily Record Columnist The San Marcos Record Sun Aug 15, 2010, 05:57 AM CDT

— My New Spelling Checker

I have a spelling checker

I disk covered four my PC.

          It plane lee marks four my revue

          Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,

Your sure real glad two no.

          Its very polished in its weigh,

          My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a blessing,

It freeze yew lodes of thyme.

          It helps me right awl stiles two reed,

          And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen

Eye trussed too bee a joule.

          The checker pours o’er every word

          To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore wee rote with checkers

Hour spelling was inn deck line.

          Butt now when wee dew have a laps,

          Wee are not maid too wine.

And now bee cause my spelling

Is checked with such grate flare.

          There are know faults in awl this peace

          Of nun eye am a wear.

To rite with care is quite a feet

Of witch won should be proud.

          And wee mussed dew the best wee can

          Sew flaws are knot aloud.

That’s why eye brake in two averse

Cuz eye dew want too please.

          Sow glad eye yam that aye did bye

          This soft wear four pea seas.

I could not resist it. I write a lot and depend on my spellchecker. However, I know that when I'm finished I have another spellchecker who is going to find misspelled words all through what I have written. I still have to get a smiley face from Lucille.

I have another piece of software that is even more amazing than the spellchecker. It's called Dictate and just as its name implies when I have Dictate turned on I can sit here and talk and the computer will write it down just as I have said it… well, more or less. It is a wonderful piece of software and it saves me a lot of time.

Several years ago Microsoft produced a piece of software called Via Voice. It was supposed to do the same thing that Dictate does. It included stories and prose that you would sit and read until the computer, through the program, recognized your voice and then you could dictate what you wanted to write.

I read those stories and the prose over and over again but the program never did understand West Texas talk; somehow the drawl escaped the software. So it was with some misgivings that I began to use Dictate.

Lo and behold, I read one paragraph and before I was through with that paragraph the computer said to me, “I have analyzed your voice and you may now begin to dictate.”

It doesn't always work but it does most of the time – unless someone comes in or you get a phone call and you talk for a few minutes before you realize you still have your Dictate microphone turned on. Then you can get some real strange results.

One of my favorite sayings has long been that the computer is not your friend. Nothing very profound today but I had to share the little poem with you. God bless and enjoy.

Jerry Bullock has written his weekly column for the Daily Record for more than 20 years. Jerry is a retired Air Force colonel, an ordained Baptist minister, professional counselor, military historian, speaker, and writer.

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