Published: July 03, 2009 08:01 pm      

Big eats at the Big Texan

Birding with Jerry Hall

Howdy y’all.

I recently dropped by the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, home of the famous 72-ounce steak dinner which is free if you finish it in an hour. If you don’t finish, you pay $72, which is still not bad for four and a half pounds of steak, plus shrimp cocktail, baked potato and salad with roll and butter.

It was 10:40 in the morning so I passed on the steak and settled for the $8.95 grand buffet breakfast, and I took my time eating it.

My waitress said about 30,000 people have tried to win the dinner and almost 5,000 have succeeded. “But it’s not a pretty sight when someone gets sick,” she said.

She pointed to a large man working behind a nearby counter and said he was her son. “He won a steak last year,” she said proudly. In addition to the meal, winners take home a t-shirt, certificate and boot-shaped mug.

There is a special roped-off, raised table where one sits alone to take the big-steak challenge and a digital counter is used to show how much time has passed. Once started, you can’t stand up, leave the table or have anyone else touch the meal; you must consume all the food but can leave the steak fat.

If you become ill, the contest is over. You pay up front and you can take home leftovers if you lose.

Current eating champ is Joe “Jaws” Chestnut, who ate his entire meal in 8 minutes and 52 seconds on March 24, 2008. If you care for such things, you can watch a re-play of his performance on the restaurant’s website, www.bigtexan.com. Oldest winner was a 69-year-old grandmother; youngest was an 11-year-old boy.

In addition to the restaurant, you’ll find a western-themed motel, large gift shop, fudge counter where free samples are given out, and a big glass cage housing a live western diamondback rattlesnake. (Rattlesnake meat and mountain oysters are on the menu.) If you drop by on your birthday, they’ll give you a free chicken-fried steak.

I flew to Amarillo on the way to my annual family reunion in Childress. I rented a car, cruised over to the reunion and, sated with food and fellowship, continued north via highway 83 to just across the Red River where I struck out into the boonies to visit a small country cemetery where my paternal grandparents are buried.

The road to the cemetery was largely unpaved and a bit muddy from recent rains. Along the way, I spotted several scissor-tailed flycatchers, two red-tailed hawks and – a most welcome sight – a northern bobwhite quail. I seldom see bobwhites in Hays County these days, so it was a treat to see the small, round-bodied bird, strutting by the road with a most un-quail-like nonchalance.

I also enjoyed the Panhandle weather — highs around 80 and, while I was there, about two inches of rain. Perhaps you remember what rain is — that wet stuff that falls from the sky and is most refreshing.

If you’re headed to Amarillo, I’d recommend a stop at the Big Texan Steak Ranch; if you’re there for breakfast, the custom-made omelets are especially good. Other attractions include Amarillo Botanical Gardens, Amarillo Museum of Art, Amarillo Zoo, American Quarter Horse Hall of Fame and Museum and Palo Duro Canyon State Park, about 25 miles southeast of town on state highway 217. Call 800 692-1338 or visit www.visitamarillotx.com for information.

And if you think mountain oysters are a type of seafood, be sure to check with your waitress before ordering.