As the email responses to my job posting came rolling in by the dozens, I searched in vain for just one that had a proper cover letter and resume. Instead, I found every manner of poorly written informal response along with the occasional generic cover letter full of nonsense words that in no way applied to the job I was attempting to fill.

My expectations for a seasonal retail job that pays poorly were not overly high. I hoped to interview a handful of people that responded with a brief cover letter that referred to at least some part of my detailed job posting. Along with the cover letter, I hoped to receive a resume even if the person had relatively little job experience.

Of the hundreds of responses I received not one person sent the proper combination. Nearly all of the responses were brief, informal notes along the lines of "I am interested in the job. Please call me if it is still available." This tells me that on a very large level our schools -- at least here in Connecticut -- have failed to prepare students for the job market.

I'm also pretty sure that at least on the lowest levels of the retail chain that any candidate that made even a reasonable effort would immediately stand out. You do not have to be a writer to prepare a proper cover letter -- one that refers to the job posting in question and contains no spelling mistakes or major grammatical errors.

Perhaps worse than the informal letters or the ones full of typos were the ones built around nonsense phrases like, "I hope to utilize my skills for the betterment of your company." That may sound like it's saying something, but a phrase like that contains no useful information.

Invariably these drivel-filled cover letters came paired with resumes that contained absurd objectives. "I want to obtain a position with your company so I can achieve my goals," or similar claptrap also says nothing. I'd prefer, "I have always liked toys and would enjoy working in a toy store." There's at least some honesty in that sentence and it suggests I might get an eager employee who would enjoy her job.

Ultimately, I selected a few people to interview based on geographic convenience. One person failed to show for her interview while another was only available to be interviewed on such a limited basis that it made me question whether he could actually work a demanding retail job.

The eventual victor got selected because she showed up on time for the interview, made an attempt at dressing appropriately and waited patiently while I finished up with a customer before speaking to her. Her cover letter had offered me nothing, but at least it was brief and avoided too many unnecessary big words.

She seems friendly, has some retail experience and had a good reason for wanting a full-time job that ends in January. I'm relatively confident in my selection and my staff seems to like her. That said, I remain appalled that not one person across the wide age range that applied for the position knows how to apply for a job.

Perhaps we don't have an unemployment problem in this country, maybe we have open jobs with no viable means to fill them. I'll be hiring some part-timers in the coming weeks and am expecting the email equivalent of "me want job" written in crayon to start showing up in my mailbox the second the ad goes live.



Daniel B. Kline's work appears in more than 100 papers weekly. When he is not writing Kline serves as general manager of Time Machine Hobby, a New England hobby and toy store. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com.