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JERRY HALL DAILY RECORD COLUMNIST

EXPLORING NATURE: FAMOUS LAST WORDS

Sunday, July 5, 2020

Let us depart from our regular nature explorations today and delve into the topical subject of death. After all, this is a state of being we will all eventually encounter and it might serve us well to begin considering what our last words will be.

Of course, if a cow falls from the sky and lands on you, or if you fall off a cliff, you may not have time to say much.

However, assuming you have time to say a few words, let me remind you of some of the most famous last words down through history.

Marie Antoinette: “Pardon me, sir, I meant not to do it.” She said this, in French, after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner, seconds before he chopped off her head.

Humphrey Bogart: “I should have never switched from Scotch to Martinis.”

John Barrymore: “Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.”

James Donald French: “Hey fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? French Fries!” A convicted murderer, French shouted this to members of the press gathered for his execution in Oklahoma.

Elvis Presley: “I’m going to the bathroom to read.”

Frank Sinatra: “I’m losing it.”

Finally, convicted murderer Thomas J. Grasso used his last words to complain about his last meal. “I did not get Spaghetti-O’s,” he shouted. “I got spaghetti and I want the press to know this.”

Surely you can do better than that.

San Marcos Record

(512) 392-2458
P.O. Box 1109, San Marcos, TX 78666