What a medication commercial for running would look like

I have been a sports minded person all my life by either playing a sport or watching a sport on television. Of course, almost all television shows will have commercials promoting something. The ones that catch my attention are the products for helping some sort of medical condition. The ad may promote medication for a cure or relief from some ailment. Some conditions are serious and may affect your life in some way such as pain or inability to move freely. Conditions include COPD, arthritis, diabetes, obesity, or a-fib of the heart. Most of the medicines require a medical doctor to prescribe them and are good for relieving many of the symptoms of the illness or condition.

Then the second part of the ad lists the possible side effects such as higher risks of heart disease, stroke, TB, kidney failure, upset stomach and even death. Some of these side effects seem worse than the condition they are supposed to help. 

I started to wonder what an ad for the activity of running would sound like. The ad begins: “Running is a preventative — and in some cases a cure —for various ailments that a person may accumulate. This client tells us that he suffered from obesity, poor physical fitness, high blood pressure and early signs of diabetes. The medical doctor suggests that some physical activity like running might help his symptoms.”

The person decides to try this running activity out to see if the ad was true. He goes to a store and buys a pair of running shoes and listens to the salesperson give a few tips on running. He joins a running club to help motivate him and after a month of training he has started to lose weight, lower his blood pressure, and signs of diabetes are improved. It is then that the second part of the ad starts to take effect.

“The possible side effects of running may cause the person to experience heavier breathing and at times have difficulty talking in a smooth sentence. The heart may begin to beat faster and reach higher levels than when at rest. The hair may become messed up and damp from sweat that will be unattractive. On a few occurrences a condition called ‘black toenail’ may appear on the toes if you bought the running shoes at a discount store for a cheaper price.” 

“Other conditions include chafing at select parts of the body such as the armpits and upper leg. These occur from the rubbing of the fat your legs and arms previously had. Your clothes — especially the socks on your feet — may begin to carry an odor that is offensive to others after participating in running. Frequent washing of clothes will be required.”

“Running with other runners you may notice that they babble in a strange language and use words such as fartlek, Max VO2, intervals, 5K, 10K, hitting the wall, pronation, supination and the word marathon is often mentioned. When running you may experience sore muscles in the lower legs and feet at the initial doses of running but they will usually disappear after a week or two.”

“Other less serious side effects include loss of weekends off because of driving to a race in another city. Spending a night out on Friday to celebrate the end of a work week will now be less frequent because of the need to get up early on Saturday to go to a race. Your co-workers will see this as a strange behavior and recommend seeing another doctor instead of the doctor that wrote running as a prescription. When you do go out to celebrate and have a beer or two it will no longer be for pleasure but only as a carbohydrate replenishment drink from marathon training. Running may become an addiction and habit forming from use.”

“But aside from these possible side effects, try the running prescription from your doctor and see the improvement in your ailments.” Then the ad will have an actual client give a testimony and say, “I tried this running medicine and can highly recommend it for improvement to your lifestyle.”

Then the sport you are watching on television returns to action and you begin to think if running is the right prescription for you after hearing all of the possible side effects it may cause. 

Think positive and go for a run.