Security blankets and bridges remind us how we connect to our loved ones

Dear Readers,

The holidays are a challenging time for many of us and can be difficult, especially when separated from our loved ones. This week, I not only missed one of my favorite meals of the year — turkey dinner with cornbread stuffing, sipping cranberry sauce straight out of the gravy boat, sneaking handfuls of deviled eggs — but I also didn’t get to hug and dote on my son for his 16th birthday.

I’ve felt the pain of this separation before as I was unable to hold or cuddle him even after he was born. My little Scorpio suffered from meconium aspiration and quite nearly died. Airlifted on a helicopter without me, I practically leaped off the delivery bed and scrambled to the NICU where breathing machines kept my baby alive. Not until he was seven days old were we able to attempt nursing, and I could hold him for the first time. Thanksgiving had taken place days prior, and I struggled immensely through our separation.

So this was a Bittersweet Sixteen. He wanted to be with me in Portugal, but his passport still remains hidden away. Through this whole unjust saga, my son has worn a hoodie that we’d scooped up on our visit to San Francisco, just after a life-changing catamaran ride under the Golden Gate Bridge. (Side note: did you know that there’s a sister bridge to the Golden Gate that’s here in Lisbon? It’s named for the April 25 Bloodless Revolution when they overthrew the dictatorship without violence. Both of these bridges represent freedom and transition, and the parallels and symbolism is certainly not lost on me.)

For more than a year, my sweet growing teen boy has worn this sweatshirt every single day, like a security blanket. When his friends draw pictures or cre- ate digital animations of him, his Golden Gate hoodie is an essential part of his character’s uniform. However, a new hooded sweatshirt that is almost identical to his tattered souvenir was one of his birthday gifts this week, though completely blank and without graphics. This fleece canvas, he decided, was to display sewn patches from our various adventures, quilting together his memories and achievements with me.

Transitioning to his new upgraded security blanket this week, he gifted his old one to his significant other — a poignant act that signifies his maturity and the blossoming of young love. Y’all, my baby is really growing up!

In shedding one hoodie for another, he symbolically stepped onto a bridge between familiarity and growth. His story is a universal story about the transitions we all navigate, from relying on certain people or objects for comfort to finding new ways to express ourselves and connect with others. It’s a story about resilience, growth and the beautiful relationships we build along the way.

This act, redefining comfort, reminds us that we have the ability to embrace change, foster connectedness and nurture the threads of our shared human tapestry. Perhaps progressing from one hoodie to another or modifying our creature comforts — whether by choice or circumstance — could allow us to find different ways to feel safer and more loved.

This holiday season is a potential bridge (pun intended!) for us to explore peaceful change, evolution and our interconnectedness as we celebrate the passing of this year to the next. May our hearts and minds be full, even when there’s a little bitter in our sweet.

Xoxo,

Kelly Stone is an educator, comedian, mother, and author who lves the heck outta the river. She welcomes e-letters at kellystone.org or kellystonecomedy@ gmail.com and adores handwritten notes and postcards via good ol’ snail mail.