Ok, let’s get the obvious out of the way. 2020 was the year of COVID-19, also known as corona (minus the lime), the plague, the super crud, or, as my dad calls it (and most other contagious illnesses), “the rooty-gootus.” But what else happened in 2020?
Well, in addition to the global pandemic, China became the international Amazon.com of unwanted express deliveries. Remember the Asian murder hornets? I’m still plugging up my nostrils and ear canals when I sleep. And what about the Chinese mystery seeds? The harvest from those should be reaching your local farmers market and Walmart produce aisle soon. And then there were the double hurricanes, Laura and Marco, like some kind of WWE wrestling co-ed tag team from Hell. (I’m not sure we can blame China for that one, but there will undoubtedly be an expensive and time-consuming congressional investigation to find out for sure.) And speaking of the gov
And speaking of the government and professional wrestling, the nation witnessed a presidential steelcage death match featuring two elderly politicians who tried to outdo one another with their criminally awkward dancing, cringey verbal gaffes and toddleresque insults. At least we were assured that no matter who won, the vast majority of Americans could claim to be “cooler” than the President.
