Honest, I’m going to write a book chockful of random thoughts someday (my more serious book about religion is already available on Amazon), but deadline pressures keep forcing me to cannibalize my ideas for this column instead.
For instance, do you get confused by the (microscopic and/ or smeared) “sell by” and “best if used by” labels on products? “Best if used by November 2022.” “Best if used by July 2023.” Considering the sodium and sugar content in most of the products, maybe the labels should announce, “Best if used by the jerk whose widow you would like to marry in about five years.”
Why do we waste our time soliciting highly subjective information from the people in our lives? A business owner can ask how things went in his absence. One employee will start flailing his arms and announce his honest perception, “All hell broke loose!” Another will adopt the British “stiff upper lip” and sincerely assure the boss, “We had a trifle of increased activity.” A good surveillance camera system would solve the discrepancies. Of course, there might be some conflicting cost estimates. (“It’ll cost an arm and a leg!” “It already paid for itself when you were a gleam in your father’s eye!”)
