DEAR ABBY: I’m divorced and have been dating my guy friend for five years. We recognized after we started dating that we love each other, and we planned to move in together after a year of dating. I was so excited when we started making plans that I reached out to my guy’s ex-wife and daughter as a friendly gesture.
His daughter was getting married later in the year, so I tried to reassure her that I understood how stressful a big wedding is, and I wouldn’t be offended if I wasn’t invited. I wasn’t invited. Following the wedding, the first time I met his ex-wife and children was excruciating. His daughter was very unpleasant to me.
Now, years later, the situation has not improved. If I try to be Facebook friends, his daughter accepts my offer, but limits what I can see. This is ridiculous. After five years, I would like to just gently close that door. Is that being mean or realistic? – TRIED, AND TRIED AGAIN DEAR TRIED: When you reached out to your partner’s daughter, perhaps you came on a little too strong. It seems like a warm and caring gesture, unless your relationship was the reason his marriage ended. Have you talked to your partner about it? Perhaps he can help. This situation won’t improve if you “gently close the door.” You don’t need to track his adult daughter’s activities on Facebook. (If she hated you, she would block you entirely.) It couldn’t hurt to step back and stick with the status quo, and that’s what I recommend.
