DEAR ABBY: Our mom just turned 100, and she is in good health. I threw a big birthday celebration to honor this amazing woman. My brother and I were adopted as infants. She gave us a fabulous childhood, and we grew up to be responsible adults.
My brother, who’s retired, lives 6 miles from Mom, but he never goes to see her or offers any type of help he is capable of doing. He thinks a daily phone call is enough. He didn’t even show up to her birthday party. I live 40 miles from Mom. I leave early for work to spend time with her each morning.
My brother and I do not talk, so how do I get the point across that he needs to spend TIME with her? If I mention it to Mom, she constantly makes excuses for his behavior. What can I do? – FRUSTRATED SISTER IN ARIZONA DEAR SISTER: Although you and your brother were raised by the same woman, you are two different individuals. The pattern of how your brother treats Mom has been established, and because there is little time left, it isn’t likely to change. You cannot control his behavior, so quit making it your problem. You are a dutiful and loving daughter. Leave it at that.
