DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with “Ben” for 13 years, but I have been to his parents’ home only twice. I really love him. We never go anywhere or do anything together. He has never given me a gift for any occasion or “just because.” Material things don’t matter to me, but if he thought to get me something, it would make me feel he cares.
Ben is always gone, and I’m always alone. He is very selfish. How can I help him understand that I have feelings and I matter as much as he does? – MISSING SOMETHING IN MISSISSIPPI DEAR MISSING: People demonstrate their feelings for each other in different ways. From what you have written, it appears the man you have been with for 13 years spends the exact amount of time with you that he wishes, with little to no regard for your needs.
You could talk at Ben until the cows come home, but he won’t get the message. For your sake, invest no more time in this man. Concentrate on finding a partner who is willing to give you what you need. If you do, you’ll have a happier life than the one you are living now.
