DEAR ABBY: My aunt frequently cuts people out of her life for perceived slights – small, large and imagined. A few years ago, she got into a fight with my dad (her brother). Somehow, the rest of my family got cut out, too. Guilt by association, I guess.
She has done it to me so many times that I decided this last time would be it. I no longer want the drama of being “let back in” (without explanation or apology), only to be mysteriously cut off again.
Unfortunately, my dad is in ill health. He and his sister have recently made contact, but it is only surface conversation. When he passes, how do I let her know about his death without inviting her back into my life? No one in our family wants her at the funeral. Thanks for your wisdom. – UNSURE IN THE WEST DEAR UNSURE: Tell your aunt about her brother’s death and let her decide if she wishes to attend the funeral. If she comes, be cordial. The woman is obviously troubled, but she should be allowed to pay her last respects if she wishes. Permitting her to do this does not need to change anything between the two of you. Remember, funerals exist to comfort the living, and that includes your aunt.
