DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were together for 11 years, married for six of them. I had an alcohol addiction for the last few years, which led to my being unfaithful. He never drank, so he had a hard time understanding my addiction problem. After I got a DUI, he finally left me.
Two weeks later, he was already in another relationship! We divorced a year later. I have spent the last 14 months changing my life. I have been sober this whole time, attended AA meetings and seen a psychotherapist as well as an addiction therapist. I have been devastated since my husband left. I have lost 20 pounds that I didn’t need to lose, and I leave my house only to work. I haven’t even entertained the idea of seeing or talking to another man.
My ex has been telling me off and on that he wants to try and work things out with me, which is something I want more than anything. I know I hurt him, and he’s no longer the same person. I want to show him I’m different and we can be happy, but he won’t fully commit to anything and just keeps hurting me. Should I continue to pursue this or try to find a way to move on? – NOW SOBER IN VIRGINIA DEAR NOW SOBER: If your sobriety is important to you, you cannot cling to a person who “keeps hurting you.” (I wish you had mentioned how he does this, but in the end, you must do what is good for YOU.) Did the way he treated you – or your perception of it – have something to do with your drinking and infidelity?
