OP/ED
The following article is part four of a four-week series focusing on raising awareness about dating violence. February is Dating Violence Awareness month, and we hope to educate our community on this very important issue. 1 in 3 young people will experience dating violence in their lifetime. Locally, the Hays-Caldwell Women’s Center has been serving victims of domestic and dating violence, sexual assault, and child abuse since 1978. Last year, HCWC served 2,269 victims of abuse (face-toface) primarily from Hays and Caldwell Counties.
Dating violence, in public perception, looks loud and obvious. Abuse is often subtle, controlled, and strategic.
Coercive control is a form of systemic abuse that gains power and control over a person through repeated behavior of intimidation, manipulation, and isolation. An abuser’s goal in using this tactic is to erode one’s autonomy so a person no longer perceives their life and actions as their own.
So how can we recognize this behavior? Let’s look at some examples of the most common features of coercive control:
Social Isolation: An abuser will create distance from the victim’s support systems, like friends or family, to enforce isolation and dependence.
Constant Monitoring: An abuser will enforce this by continuously monitoring the victim’s life through check-ins, looking through their phone, sharing locations, having access to emails or social media, and insisting on always being around.
Economic abuse: An abuser may enforce this by controlling the victim’s finances, prohibiting them from working, sabotaging job opportunities, and limiting access to material support.
Threats and Intimidation: An abuser may use threats and intimidation to create fear, enforce obedience, and limit the victim’s ability to act independently.
Emotional manipulation: An abuser may create feelings of guilt, shame, or fear to maintain the victim’s obedience.
Recognizing this behavior in a relationship requires us to look past a single incident. Take note of patterns, changed behavior, power dynamics, inconsistencies, and ulterior motives. If you find yourself abandoning the things that are meaningful to you, questioning your choices, or feeling like your partner’s comfort is more important than your autonomy, please seek support.
We are committed to providing free, safe, and confidential services to victims of dating violence. If you are experiencing dating violence, please call our HELPLine 24/7 at 512396-4357. For additional information, visit our educational website: www.stopthehurt.org.
HCWC’s Prevention Educators are available to give presentations and education about dating violence.
