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Wednesday, December 17, 2025 at 7:19 PM
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Husband’s younger ‘crush’ reappears in couple’s life

DEAR ABBY: When our son went to college years ago, he traveled all summer with a school-sponsored ministry singing group. The members were all smart, attractive, talented young men and women – a group of four.

DEAR ABBY: When our son went to college years ago, he traveled all summer with a school-sponsored ministry singing group. The members were all smart, attractive, talented young men and women – a group of four.

I stopped going to his concerts because my husband became attracted to one of the young women. She was very outgoing and annoying, so I didn’t mind letting my husband go alone. After they all graduated, I thought I’d never see her again. Now, all these years later, she’s a missionary, and the church we attend is sponsoring her, so I have had to see her once and I’ll probably have to see her again.

I know to keep quiet about it because my husband says he doesn’t want to hear it. I don’t honestly think his thoughts are inappropriate. I just think he’s not aware of how obviously attracted he is to this young woman. I don’t act that way toward other men, even if they are attractive. Maybe especially if they are attractive. I wonder if other women experience this and how they cope. – SLIGHTLY JEALOUS IN OREGON DEAR SLIGHTLY JEALOUS: This situation occurs with both husbands and wives. They cope in different ways. Some make a joke out of it. Others make a point of accompanying their spouse whenever they know the “crush” is around. Nowhere in your letter did you state that this younger woman is attracted to your husband or a threat to your marriage. He’s old enough to be her father.

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